Wednesday, March 13, 2013

2013 Damnies™: the results are in

Well folks, the results are in and tabulated. Big thanks to the 546 of you that voted. Winners, well those of you who are real human beings, can expect your prizes soon. Runners up, we've got something special for you too. I can hardly wait for next year's Damnies™. Maybe we'll have an award show too. Click through to see the results. Worst Bar:

Rick's 154, 34%
Scorekeepers 95, 21%
Best after-bar food place:
Fleetwood 200, 43%
BTB 70, 15%
Best trough urinal:
I'm a woman/are you joking? 198, 45%
8 Ball/Blind Pig 102, 23%
Best alley to pee in:
Someone's backyard 100, 25%
Any alley 78, 19%
Worst alley to pee in:
In the middle of Main St. 171, 44%
Anywhere on State St. 89, 23%
Best bar for bar fights:
Scorekeepers 119, 30%
Necto 88, 22%
Worst Bar to take your mom to:
Rick's 160, 37%
8 Ball 104, 24%
Best Drunken Karaoke:
Circus 149, 38%
Blue Leprechaun 64, 16%
Most cooperative co-op:
People's Food Co-op 293, 83%
Nakamura 18, 5%
Most phallic structure:
Brick Dick (AKA the Ypsi Water Tower) 337, 76%
"all those fucking sky cranes for their stupid fucking highrises" 64, 14%
Best place to people watch:
Diag 110, 25%
Art Fair 105, 24%
Best meeting place now that Borders is gone:
Any coffee place 129, 30%
Ashley's 85, 20%
Most public public-art:
The "4 heads" on Liberty at State 181, 43%
Graffiti 113, 27%
Worst downtown street for biking:
State (especially between Washington and South U.) 168, 42%
Huron 107, 27%
Most Attractive City Council Person:
"Jane Lumm. I can't find her picture on and she's listed as an "independent". Just giving me the ability to assign her any face, personality, and beliefs makes her perhaps the most attractive woman on the planet, but almost certainly better than the grinning homunculi that are the rest of the candidates." 168, 52%
Kunselmen 70, 21%
Most Craigslist Missed Connections:
Whole Foods 137, 37%
Men's locker room at CCRB 120, 32%
Ugliest building:
Embassy Hotel 71, 17%
City Hall 57, 14%
Best example of brutalist architecture:
"City Hall? That place makes me want to rub crayons on my eyeballs, and that sounds pretty brutal." 158, 42%
AT&T Building 53, 14%
Worst use of downtown real estate:
Surface parking lots 100, 23%
Mongolian BBQ 98, 23%
Best local poster artist:
Jeremy Wheeler 140, 48%
Nate Higley 61, 21%
(least) Favorite tagger:
Saes 155, 55%
Gexir 125, 45%
Best fries:
Jolly Pumpkin (Truffle Fries) 162, 39%
Frita Batidos 55, 13%
Best knick-knack store:
Vault of Midnight 77, 19%
Middle Earth 70, 17%
Best place to see a show:
Blind Pig 167, 39%
Hill Auditorium 69, 16%
Best Bike Shop:
Two Wheel Tango 125, 38%
Great Lakes Cycling 83, 25%
Best outdoor place/park:
Arb 279, 68%
Gallup Park 59, 14%
Best Bartender (male):
Bearded dude at Alley Bar 136, 36%
Giancarlo/"That one dude with the beard at The Last Word." 101, 27%
Best Bartender (female):
Jessica/Allyssa at the Alley Bar 133, 33%
Ronnie at Blue Leprechaun 99, 24%
Bar with highest median age of clientele:
Knight's 178, 43%
Webers 105, 25%
Best cocktails:
The Last Word 136, 34%
Ravens Club 85, 21%
Most ostentatious cocktails:
Last Word 107, 28%
Ravens Club 102, 27%
Top place to get away from the menial grind of existential horror that is experienced every day by the millennial generation:
Old Town 104, 26%
Arb 92, 23%
Best locally grown, organic, sweatshop-free, farm-fresh, hipster instagram worthy establishment:
Comet Coffee 94, 24%
People's Food Co-op 88, 23%
Worst intersection:
State and South U 174, 41% Washtenaw & Carpenter/Hogback 123, 29%


  1. The bearded dude at Alley Bar is Phil Attee.

  2. I am all for an awards show next year. I nominate Billy Crystal as host.

  3. for real, learn people's names, it's not difficult.

  4. Sorry for the lack of folks names. The Best Bartender (male) category was a reader suggestion and for the most part I just copied and pasted the nominations directly from the submissions. On one hand it opened up the field to a broader group of folks. On the other hand, it wasn't always clear who folks were nominating.

    I'll make sure I do a bit more investigation next time so I can make sure I get people's names, not just their general description.

  5. At one end of spectrum a person was submitted with description and no name. On another end we have this name, and the idea that the lack of description is the appeal of this city council woman. And then pointing out this namelessness is someone who remains nameless. And not a single soul is pointing out the injustice of mongolian bbq losing by TWO POINTS to "surface parking lots." I very much enjoy parking lots, of all varieties. What I do not enjoy is mongolian barbecue, it makes me all verklempt. Mongolian barbecue is neither mongolian or barbecue, discuss.

  6. Best bar for bar fights:
    Scorekeepers 119, 30%
    Necto 88, 22%

    Is this because of our lack of fights and they usually end in people hugging it out?
    We call BS otherwise

  7. @ScoreAA, you'd have to ask the people who voted, but from what I hear people are jealous of the hugging it out situation at Scorekeepers.

  8. Has anyone gotten their "prizes" yet? Seems like the Damnies were a ploy to up subscribers on Damn Arbor.