EJ and I have been venturing into Ypsi with increasing frequency. On a recent trip to Bona Sera Cafe I noticed a print copy of the Purple Walrus Press. Holy crap, I print monthly, I thought, They still make those? All kidding aside, it is nice to see more local writing being produced. PWP has a pretty humorous and left-leaning tone. I especially liked their article "How The Gentiles Hijacked The Bagel":
Raisin bagels, blueberry bagels, cinnamon bagels, fragel bagels, oye!
The Jewish Liberation Bagel Front (JLBF) has a specific objective. That objective is to liberate the bagel from the clutches of the gentiles and deliver them back into the hands of the Jewish people of America, where they belong. According to many Jews, the gentiles have taken the bagel and turned it into a homogenized, bland, wishy-washy, Midwestern, white-bread piece of shmutz. Rueben Rothstein, a spokesman for the JLBF said, “Are you freaking kiddin’ me? They took our bagels, mass marketed them with blueberries, bananas, and other crap, and stole its integ- rity. Just give me a bagel, a plain bagel with a schmere of cream cheese, lox, onion, and tomato and we’re talkin’ — cripes all mighty.”
JCBF members are armed with creamed herring rocket launchers and gefilte fish gre- nades. “If it comes to that, we are ready to fight to reclaim our plain bagels,” Rothstein said. “Now gimme me some of those knishes,” he added.