Thursday, November 4, 2010

Ann Arbor Craigslist, Best Of

Wanted-- babysitter for druggies

My boyfriend and I like to experiment with various recreational chemicals, but sometimes when we're coming down (like now) we don't want to go out, but we really really really want some sort of obscure, horrible fast food item. We used to have a friend that would bring us stuff and not expect much in return, but he moved away. We would like a replacement for him. We don't want to DO drugs with you, but we are perfectly willing to hook you up or bake you cookies (when we're sober) or listen to you whine about how no girls like you (as our old Tender of the Druggies did). We don't want you to stay overly long, either. Bring us stuff, chill for maybe fifteen minutes (longer if we aren't obviously exchanging looks or hinting about how tired we are or how NO WE DO NOT WANT A CUDDLE THREESOME), be on your way. We are chill people and really would like to be your friend, but this works better if you are some sort of unlikable loser, eager to please and be accepted, have lots of spare time and few friends, and are socially retarded in some other manner-- thus you are fine with an abusive, exploitative relationship of you fetching us NOMS.

Anyway, hunger is becoming a serious problem after all this 2c-i so we are off to fix that. Please let us know if you would like to assist us with this endeavor in the future. We are conveniently located in downtown Ann Arbor.

Nacah is Hebrew.... for adventure.

You really have to admire their brutal honesty.


  1. 2c-i is the best 2c, I usually get diner clam chowder or some shit when I'm coming down.

  2. I am an unlikable loser that has some loser friends that can help you guys out too. We have all kinds of time & are eager to be accepted. We are usualy begging downtown if not stealing groceries so we got the food part covered & you wont have to pay for food. We can even strong arm your dealer to get you the items you want for free. Bye the way, we make hits on people too for the right price but we can talk more if you need a dusting or two. I am the smartest of my crew, Im only half retarted. Meaning, I can mix in with just about any level of retards on the street. I go by: (3/4)Three-Quarter, cause im not completely retarded
    PS - We all are socialy retarted in some manner or another so we are very easily manipulated. I have to be honest, im realy not happy unless somebody is talking down to me humiliating me in some way or another. We are anxious to meet you druggies.

  3. I am a very large and strong man who enjoys the occasional violent rape and sodomy of both men and women. That being said I love to burn one on occasion and may be able to help you out. I am usually pretty peaceful and love food.

  4. would I have to buy all the food?

  5. Looks like all Y'all need ideas to be put into empty mind NOW!

  6. Cant find one of 10000 dumpsteers behind all them top end restraunts?