Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Someone at the Daily is having a lot of fun writing the crime notes

From the Michigan Daily:
Stairwell lurker a jerker

WHERE: Michigan Union
WHEN: Sunday at about 10: 15 p.m.
WHAT: A female student found a male subject lying underneath a stairwell allegedly masturbating, according to University Police. He was arrested at the time by University Police and released later that night.

Volvo recovered

WHERE: 2200 Hayward
WHEN: Sunday at about 9 a.m.
WHAT: A 1999 grey Volvo S80 that was reported stolen on Nov. 8 was recovered, University Police reported.

Laptop left for five mins. stolen

WHERE: Duderstadt Building
WHEN: Sunday at about 3:50 p.m.
WHAT: A Macbook Pro left unattended for about five minutes was stolen from the third floor of the library, University Police reported. Officers gathered evidence and the case is still under investigation.

Vittles vanish at Cancer Center

WHERE: Cancer Center
WHEN: Saturday at 1:10 p.m.
WHAT: Various food items valued at about $10 were stolen, University Police reported. Currently, the incident is still under investigation.

Complete double alliteration.

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