Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Santa is a Washtenaw County defense attorney

In court yesterday, a white-haired defense attorney requested that his matter be adjourned to another date.

"How is December 30th?" Judge Conlin suggested.

"I'll be recovering from Christmas," the attorney said. The judge and Val, the court recorder, bristled almost imperceptibly at the inadequate excuse. The attorney insisted: "There are a lot of presents to deliver."

After looking at the attorney for moment, Judge Conlin broke into a giggle that was a lot more giggle than you'd expect from a judge. He asked Val for the next available date. Judge Conlin has a reputation for being a very fair judge, but the court's accommodation in this matter was extra jolly.

Then the attorney turned around, and I got it.

Glasses: small and round; beard: white as snow; eyes: twinkly; dimples: merry; nose: like a cherry. His suit was grey, sure, but his bow-tie was red-and-green plaid.

As he left the courtroom, ho-ho-hoing softly to himself, his belly shook. I saw it.

It shook like a bowl full of jelly.


  1. All I want for Christmas is to plea my criminal mischief charges charges down to malicious mischief.

  2. Thank GAWD. And here I was wondering what to do about my civil infraction.