Friday, December 20, 2013

Strictly platonic

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: there is some really weird, probably non-platonic stuff that gets posted on the Strictly Platonic section of the local Craigslist. For example:
Willing to puke on a guy? - m4w - 32 (Ypsilanti)

32 white guy here looking for a girl who would be willing to puke on me just for fun, if you would enjoy this please contact me :)

You know what really takes that post to the next level? The smily face emoticon. An then there's this gem:
Do You Want To Move Out? - m4w (Farmington)

Hello ladies. I'm a single white male. I wanted to tell you that I currently live alone. I'm in a 2 bedroom place by myself in Farmington. It's about 30 minutes from downtown AA. There are two pools here for swimming purposes. An indoor pool and an outdoor as well. There is also a tennis court here. Also a small room to run on a treadmill. If you are not happy where you are living I'm looking for a great girl to live with.

The apartment has air conditioning, heat, stove oven, refrigerator, microwave, dishwasher, toaster, couches, 31" inch tv, cable tv, internet, fully furnished, washer and dryer in the building, dining table and chairs.

Email me if interested. You would not have to ppaaayyy anything. Photos of the apartment are below. I'm a single white male. I'm 5'10, brown hair, brown eyes, 170. Put want to move in the subject line so I know you are real.

The emphasis on the extra creepy part of that post is mine. My old pal Rosmarie Canard says she's seen several posts like this over the years on the local Craigslist. I just found a more recent version with the lines "Do you need to move out? Are you in a bad living situation? Want to get out of your parent's house?" Seems like the guy is trying to get vulnerable women to live with him. Hopefully we won't see a Lifetime movie about this next year. Merry Christmas everyone.


  1. That decor is straight out of Better Homes and Murder Basements.

  2. The folding chair is nice. This place could use a woman's touch.

  3. good to know the pools are for swimming purposes! The place even comes with a stove oven..

  4. I have a *great* living situation but I'm ready to move in! A pool for swimming purposes! A small room to run on a treadmill! Full furnished *and* heat?! The real deal maker though are the Christmas lights. He must be a great guy to hang up such festive lights like that.