Gentle readers, someone stole redditor meimagino's bike while they were working. Not cool. Here's what meimagino had to say:
Around 9:30 pm on May 7th, my bicycle was stolen from outside the Target on Carpenter Rd. It looks like this:Hope they get their bike back.The body is distinctive, unless someone paints over it—it has black and silver marbling, not solid colors. The gears are super rusty and slightly bent (a car hit it last year when it was on a bike rack), and only 1/3 of the gears work because of said damage. The tires are thick, almost mountain-bike size.
IF YOU STOLE IT: Thanks for getting caught on camera so I know what you look like! Give me my bike back, we'll call it even, and I won't have you prosecuted. I love my bike and I just want it back. It's a parts bike, so it's not even worth the bolt cutters you left behind. (?!) But if the police catch you with it, then god help you, because I certainly won't. So give me back my goddamn bike.
IF YOU BOUGHT IT FROM SOME GUY: I've reported it stolen, so you really don't want to keep it. Give me back my bike and I'll reward you.
IF YOU SEE IT AROUND TOWN: If someone is riding it, I'd appreciate it very much if you made a note of their description and where you saw them, and called the non-emergency number for the Pittsfield police: (734) 822-4911. If you find it dumped somewhere, and you pick it up for me and get it back to me, I will reward you.
IF YOU SEE IT IN A PAWN SHOP OR BIKE SHOP: Call the Pittsfield police, please. And also contact me so I can go get my bike back.
I have no idea what good this post will do, but I wanted to exhaust every possibility. :/ This is my only form of transportation other than the bus, so I'm having a really, really bad day.
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