Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Betches love the University of Michigan

Apparently I'm a little late to the Betch movement. Nevertheless, I found their recent review of the University of Michigan pretty funny. For example their description of the people you will find at U of M:
In-staters: In-staters are, incidentally, those students that hail from the state of Michigan. They pay approximately 5 dollars annually and can’t fathom why anyone out-of-state would pay close to $40,000 to attend. If you can’t understand why this would be infuriating to the out-of-stater, look at this way: it’s like formerly being the most popular kid in your high school, I mean local-celebrity-status, and having no one recognize you after graduation.

Note: Bloomfield Hills betches are an exception to the in-state rule. All JAB out-of-staters want to find a friend from Bloomfield so they can go for Rosh Hashana or break fast dinner and pretend they branched out in college.

Out-of-staters: So then, you guessed it, the out-of-staters are indeed from those lesser known areas outside of Michigan--namely, Long Island. Out-of-staters are very proud of their non-Michigan resident status since it means they're paying extra to go there and this also implies that they like, had to fucking do something of note to get in.

North Campus Aliens: North Campus is the Alcatraz of Michigan because quite frankly, you might as well be in prison with no chance of escaping (without a doctor's note). Having only been there once and that was just to see it, it’s safe to say that North Campus is just as bad as they say. Isolated from the rest of the student population and the entire Michigan culture you waited all four years of high school to experience, North Campus boasts...nothing at all.